I found out last week that a wonderful friend of mine is pregnant. It goes without saying that I'm extremely happy for her, but it definitely stirs up a lot of emotion in me. Three of my four closest friends have gotten pregnant in the last year or so (and two of them have already delivered). I would never wish infertility on any one, but it is so difficult to watch others around me get pregnant with very little effort. It's also so frustrating that we are pumping lots of money into fertility treatments while others around us are getting their babies for free.
The name of my blog--STUCK--stems from a dream I had several months ago. In my dream, I'm getting ready to run a 5K or some sort of race with a large group of friends. We are gearing up, ready to go and excited to run the race. The starter gun sounds and my friends all take off. I try to run, but can't. I look down at my feet and notice the problem...I'm wearing a big heavy pair of black rain boots. The rain boots are cute. They're covered with little white daisies (I actually own rain boots just like the boots in my dream), but the boots have left me stuck at the start line. My dreams rarely make sense, but this dream is so poignant. Truly, I feel stuck in my life. Everyone around me is moving on with their lives, enjoying the world,and laughing every day. I wake up everyday and spend every minute consumed by infertility. It's so very frustrating. Yes, I have so many things to be thankful for--I know that. Some days it is just very hard to be positive, though.
On a positive note--I've just started a new medicated cycle. I went in today for my baseline ultrasound and everything looks great. On a super positive note--my injections are FREE this month! The drug rep for the medication that I use happened to be in the office today, so my injections for this round of treatment are free samples. Woo hoo!